When I was pregnant, I realized that Father's Day was coming up... Marc's first Father's Day. He was so excited to be a Dad and was reading and researching what he could, but was greatly frustrated with the resources available for expectant fathers. So I found him a book on Amazon called "The Expectant Father" and purchased it as a Father's Day gift.
It arrived in the mail on Wednesday... the day after we lost the baby. I wasn't sure what to do with the box. I was a little afraid of it, to be honest. Part of me wanted to open it, part of me wanted to hide it. I had no idea what to do with Marc's book.
Knowing that I always enjoy getting packages from Amazon, Marc encouraged me to open it. I had to tell him what was in the box and I am really glad I did. It was a special moment... we were both very sad, but I felt closer to him as we shared both our grief and a bittersweet joy over a Father's Day gift. He didn't open the box right away, but later in the evening we sat together as he opened it. We talked late into the night about our hopes, how it felt to know that we were going to be parents, how it felt to lose it, and about our hopes and fears for the future. The book is at his bedside now. He told me that he plans to read bits of it between now and when we start trying again.
He's going to make an amazing father.
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